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| In popular culture, the "'''friend zone'''" refers to a ] wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, |
In popular culture, the "'''friend zone'''" refers to a ] wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person.<ref name=twsFebX19/> Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship. | ||
| ==Application== | ==Application== | ||
| ] | ] | ||
| There are differing explanations about what causes a person to be placed in the friend zone by another |
There are differing explanations about what causes a person to be placed in the friend zone by another. It might result from misinterpreted signals or from a fear that a deeper relationship might jeopardize the friendship. A '']'' writer suggested there were several cases in which a man might become relegated to the friend zone: (1) the woman is not sufficiently attracted to the man, (2) the woman misinterprets ] from the man signaling his interest in deepening the relationship, (3) there is sexual repulsion (but not enough to block a friendship).<ref name=twsFebX18/> In a friendship between a man and a woman, being relegated to the ''friend zone'' can happen to either person.<ref name=twsFebX18>{{cite news | ||
| While some believe that this is a group that is male-exclusive, it has been known to happen to women as well, oftentimes proving to be equally saddening. <ref name=twsFebX18>{{cite news | |||
| |author= GINA B. | |author= GINA B. | ||
| |title= What's so bad about the friend zone? | |title= What's so bad about the friend zone? | ||
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| |url= http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2007-01-12/news/0701120408_1_new-friends-attraction-friendship | |url= http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2007-01-12/news/0701120408_1_new-friends-attraction-friendship | ||
| |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | ||
| }}</ref> The |
}}</ref> The zone has been described in this way: | ||
| {{quotation|When a guy agrees to be friends, he's forced to stifle his attraction while regularly seeing and talking to the woman he's attracted to. She discusses her love life and has the audacity to ask his advice on it. He performs occasional "manly" household and automotive favors for the women. Essentially, he does everything a boyfriend would do – without the benefits.|author=Gina B.|source=''Chicago Tribune'', 2007<ref name=twsFebX18/>}} | {{quotation|When a guy agrees to be friends, he's forced to stifle his attraction while regularly seeing and talking to the woman he's attracted to. She discusses her love life and has the audacity to ask his advice on it. He performs occasional "manly" household and automotive favors for the women. Essentially, he does everything a boyfriend would do – without the benefits.|author=Gina B.|source=''Chicago Tribune'', 2007<ref name=twsFebX18/>}} | ||
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| |url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marshall-fine/huffpost-review-ijust-wri_b_569896.html | |url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marshall-fine/huffpost-review-ijust-wri_b_569896.html | ||
| |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | ||
| ⚫ | }}</ref> Dating adviser Ali Binazir described the friend zone as '']'', and wrote that it's a "territory only to be rivaled in inhospitability by the western ], the ], and ]."<ref name=twsFebX19>{{cite news | ||
| ⚫ | }}</ref> | ||
| ⚫ | Dating adviser Ali Binazir described the friend zone as '']'', and wrote that it's a "territory only to be rivaled in inhospitability by the western ], the ], and ]."<ref name=twsFebX19>{{cite news | ||
| |author= Ali Binazir M.D. M.Phil. | |author= Ali Binazir M.D. M.Phil. | ||
| |title= How to stay out of the Friend Zone | |title= How to stay out of the Friend Zone | ||
| Line 41: | Line 37: | ||
| |url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mastin-kipp/love-choosing-a-better-ki_b_598693.html | |url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mastin-kipp/love-choosing-a-better-ki_b_598693.html | ||
| |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | ||
| ⚫ | }}</ref> | ||
| ⚫ | }}</ref> |
||
| ⚫ | There is general agreement that once a man is in the friend zone, it is difficult to get out.<ref name=twsFebX27>{{cite news | ||
| ⚫ | |author= Dr. Alex Benzer | ||
| ⚫ | |title= How Rich Guys Screw Up Their Chances with Women | ||
| ⚫ | |publisher= ''Huffington Post'' | ||
| ⚫ | |date= April 2, 2009 | ||
| ⚫ | |url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-alex-benzer/how-rich-guys-ruin-their_b_181386.html | ||
| ⚫ | |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | ||
| ⚫ | }}</ref> However, there was a report in '']'' magazine that suggested that a friend-only relation could change into a sexual one.<ref name=Cosmomagazine/> It was based in part on a 2001 ] survey in which 71% of respondents hoped that they would fall in love with a friend.<ref name=Cosmomagazine>{{cite news | ||
| |url=http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-15951082_ITM | |url=http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-15951082_ITM | ||
| |title=When you fall for a guy pal: the "just friends" zone is like relationship quicksand, but you can get out with a few strategic maneuvers. | |title=When you fall for a guy pal: the "just friends" zone is like relationship quicksand, but you can get out with a few strategic maneuvers. | ||
| Line 56: | Line 61: | ||
| }}</ref> | }}</ref> | ||
| Despite the pitfalls of friend zones, there have been views advanced that a ''friend zone'' relation can evolve from "the lingering possibility of becoming more than a friend" into something deeper, particularly if the friend-zone friendship leads to a long term feeling of trustworthiness and intimacy.<ref>{{cite web | |||
| ⚫ | There is general agreement that once a man is in the friend zone, it is difficult to get out.<ref name=twsFebX27>{{cite news | ||
| ⚫ | |author= Dr. Alex Benzer | ||
| ⚫ | |title= How Rich Guys Screw Up Their Chances with Women | ||
| ⚫ | |publisher= ''Huffington Post'' | ||
| ⚫ | |date= April 2, 2009 | ||
| ⚫ | |url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-alex-benzer/how-rich-guys-ruin-their_b_181386.html | ||
| ⚫ | |accessdate= 2011-02-24 | ||
| }}</ref> | |||
| Despite the pitfalls of friend zones, some have argued that a man can benefit from actively cultivating a friend zone once an interaction or relationship with a potential partner has entered one. The theory here is that the friend zone may evolve into something more, particularly if the man establishes an air of trustworthiness and intimacy that his partner finds attractive and has never shared with previous romantic partners. This is more than, as one commentator put it, "the lingering possibility of becoming more than a friend"; as some have argued, it is the most sustainable way of building relationships with long-lasting intimacy and trust. | |||
| <ref>{{cite web | |||
| |url=http://www.manhelper.com/dating_sex/5_reasons_why_being_in_the_friend_zone_is_a_good_thing | |url=http://www.manhelper.com/dating_sex/5_reasons_why_being_in_the_friend_zone_is_a_good_thing | ||
| |title=5 Reasons Why Being in the Friend Zone is a Good Thing | |title=5 Reasons Why Being in the Friend Zone is a Good Thing | ||
| |publisher=] | |publisher=] | ||
| |accessdate=2012-06-30}}</ref> | |accessdate=2012-06-30}}</ref> | ||
| There is an important difference between friend zones and "conflicted zones." The latter may arise when one person in the zone is married and the other isn't. The constraints and complications of the existing marriage add an additional dimension to what otherwise may appear to be a friend zone. Some have offered different advice for conflicted zone situations, centering on explicit and deliberate conversation between the two parties to the zone or even counseling or mediation for the married couple.<ref>{{cite web | |||
| |url=http://www.zen-moments.com/unconditional-love-versus-sexual-desire.html | |||
| |title=Unconditional Love versus Sexual Desire...is there really a conflict? | |||
| |publisher=] | |||
| |accessdate=2012-04-02}}</ref> | |||
| ==Popular culture== | ==Popular culture== | ||
| ] played the role of Rachel on the TV show ''Friends''.]] | ] played the role of Rachel on the TV show ''Friends''.]] | ||
| ] played Ross on the TV show ''Friends''.]] | ] played Ross on the TV show ''Friends''.]] | ||
| ⚫ | The term "friend zone" was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American ] '']'' entitled "]", where the character ], who was ] for ], was described by character ] as being the "mayor of the friend zone".<ref>{{cite web | ||
| ⚫ | The term "friend zone" was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American ] '']'' |
||
| |url=http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html | |url=http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html | ||
| |title=Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap | |title=Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap | ||
| |publisher=] | |publisher=] | ||
| |accessdate=2008-01-14}}</ref> The question of whether a man can ever "escape the friend zone and begin dating one of his female friends" |
|accessdate=2008-01-14}}</ref> The question of whether a man can ever "escape the friend zone and begin dating one of his female friends" helped make the "geek dream couple"<ref>{{cite web | ||
| |url=http://tv.ign.com/articles/764/764349p2.html | |url=http://tv.ign.com/articles/764/764349p2.html | ||
| |title=IGN's Top 10 Favorite TV Couples | |title=IGN's Top 10 Favorite TV Couples | ||
| |publisher=] | |publisher=] | ||
| ⚫ | |accessdate=2008-01-14}}</ref> of Ross and Rachel storyline compelling dramatically, according to one view. Comedian ] talked about men being trapped in the friend zone in his 1996 album '']''. The television show '']'' used the term on the episode entitled "My Best Friend's Mistake" in which the character ] explained that after an important turning point happens in the relationship between a man and a woman, there are less than 48 hours to do something about it or else the man will be stuck in the woman's friend zone forever. J.D. doesn't get to finish kissing his unrequited love, ], in 48 hours, so he entered into an imaginary "Friend Zone" hospital room filled with other men who had similarly become stuck in Elliot's friend zone. | ||
| |accessdate=2008-01-14}}</ref> | |||
| Comedian ] performed a routine about women keeping platonic friends on his 1996 album '']'', where he talked about men being trapped in the friend zone. | |||
| ⚫ | The television show '']'' |
||
| The 2005 film '']'' deals with the friend zone and how it affects the main character of the film (played by ]). He reunites with his female friend from high school (played by ]) for the first time in 10 years, and she says that she loves him "like a brother", dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend.<ref>, RadioFree.com Interviews (Nov. 5, 2005)</ref> | |||
| The movie '']'' explored the theme of whether men and women could be friends without being lovers. | The 2005 film '']'' main character, played by ]), reunited after ten years with his friend played by ], who informs him that she loves him "like a brother", essentially dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend.<ref>, RadioFree.com Interviews (Nov. 5, 2005)</ref> The movie '']'' explored the theme of whether men and women could be friends without being lovers. | ||
| In May 2011, ] had a show entitled ]. In an interview with a national publication, a producer said: | |||
| ⚫ | |||
| ⚫ | {{Quote|The idea for the show came out of my own experience. Unfortunately, I know the pain of telling the girl of your dreams you love them and want to take the relationship to the next level only to be told they don't feel the same. I figured if it happened to me, it might be something others could relate to as well. If it works, you have the beginnings of a great love story. If it doesn't, well, pain and humiliation make great TV, too."|an MTV producer<ref></ref>}} | ||
| In September 2011, a new episode of the popular ]-sitcom '']'', called "Big Time Rocker", was released. Characters James and Carlos chase a new girl in town, attempting to be her new boyfriend, but they both fear ending up in the friend zone. James described the friend zone to be "a dark place, where you give girls rides to the airport, talk about their ex-boyfriends and help them move in", without ever having a chance to become a couple. | |||
| The band ] made a song known as "Friend Zone" in 2012 about a band member's crush with another girl. | In the 2001 ]-sitcom '']'', the character of James described the friend zone as "a dark place, where you give girls rides to the airport, talk about their ex-boyfriends and help them move in", without ever having a chance to become a couple. The band ] made a song known as "Friend Zone" in 2012 about a band member's crush with another girl. | ||
| ==See also== | ==See also== | ||
Revision as of 11:08, 22 March 2013
In popular culture, the "friend zone" refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.
Application
There are differing explanations about what causes a person to be placed in the friend zone by another. It might result from misinterpreted signals or from a fear that a deeper relationship might jeopardize the friendship. A Chicago Tribune writer suggested there were several cases in which a man might become relegated to the friend zone: (1) the woman is not sufficiently attracted to the man, (2) the woman misinterprets nonverbal cues from the man signaling his interest in deepening the relationship, (3) there is sexual repulsion (but not enough to block a friendship). In a friendship between a man and a woman, being relegated to the friend zone can happen to either person. The zone has been described in this way:
When a guy agrees to be friends, he's forced to stifle his attraction while regularly seeing and talking to the woman he's attracted to. She discusses her love life and has the audacity to ask his advice on it. He performs occasional "manly" household and automotive favors for the women. Essentially, he does everything a boyfriend would do – without the benefits.
— Gina B., Chicago Tribune, 2007
Marshall Fine of The Huffington Post suggested that the friend zone is "like the penalty box of dating, when your only crime is not being buff and unobtainable." Dating adviser Ali Binazir described the friend zone as Justfriendistan, and wrote that it's a "territory only to be rivaled in inhospitability by the western Sahara, the Atacama, and Dante's Ninth Circle of Hell."
One man described himself as always having girlfriends who were "girls" but were only his "friends", meaning there was no sex between them.
There is general agreement that once a man is in the friend zone, it is difficult to get out. However, there was a report in Cosmopolitan magazine that suggested that a friend-only relation could change into a sexual one. It was based in part on a 2001 Match.com survey in which 71% of respondents hoped that they would fall in love with a friend. It has also been suggested that women may also become victims of the "friend zone", in which a man treats them as only a friend, while the woman prefers a more intimate relationship.
Despite the pitfalls of friend zones, there have been views advanced that a friend zone relation can evolve from "the lingering possibility of becoming more than a friend" into something deeper, particularly if the friend-zone friendship leads to a long term feeling of trustworthiness and intimacy.
Popular culture
The term "friend zone" was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American sitcom Friends entitled "The One with the Blackout", where the character Ross Geller, who was lovesick for Rachel Green, was described by character Joey Tribbiani as being the "mayor of the friend zone". The question of whether a man can ever "escape the friend zone and begin dating one of his female friends" helped make the "geek dream couple" of Ross and Rachel storyline compelling dramatically, according to one view. Comedian Chris Rock talked about men being trapped in the friend zone in his 1996 album Bring the Pain. The television show Scrubs used the term on the episode entitled "My Best Friend's Mistake" in which the character J.D. explained that after an important turning point happens in the relationship between a man and a woman, there are less than 48 hours to do something about it or else the man will be stuck in the woman's friend zone forever. J.D. doesn't get to finish kissing his unrequited love, Elliot Reid, in 48 hours, so he entered into an imaginary "Friend Zone" hospital room filled with other men who had similarly become stuck in Elliot's friend zone.
The 2005 film Just Friends main character, played by Ryan Reynolds), reunited after ten years with his friend played by Amy Smart, who informs him that she loves him "like a brother", essentially dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend. The movie When Harry Met Sally explored the theme of whether men and women could be friends without being lovers.
In May 2011, MTV had a show entitled FriendZone. In an interview with a national publication, a producer said:
The idea for the show came out of my own experience. Unfortunately, I know the pain of telling the girl of your dreams you love them and want to take the relationship to the next level only to be told they don't feel the same. I figured if it happened to me, it might be something others could relate to as well. If it works, you have the beginnings of a great love story. If it doesn't, well, pain and humiliation make great TV, too."
— an MTV producer
In the 2001 Nickelodeon-sitcom Big Time Rush, the character of James described the friend zone as "a dark place, where you give girls rides to the airport, talk about their ex-boyfriends and help them move in", without ever having a chance to become a couple. The band Your Favorite Martian made a song known as "Friend Zone" in 2012 about a band member's crush with another girl.
See also
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References
- ^ Ali Binazir M.D. M.Phil. (February 2011). "How to stay out of the Friend Zone". taoofdating.com. Retrieved 2011-02-24.
{{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in:|publisher=(help) - ^ GINA B. (January 12, 2007). "What's so bad about the friend zone?". Chicago Tribune. Retrieved 2011-02-24.
{{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in:|publisher=(help) - Marshall Fine (May 10, 2010). "HuffPost Review: Just Wright". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24.
{{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in:|publisher=(help) - Mastin Kipp (June 3, 2010). "Choosing a Better Kind of Love". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24.
{{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in:|publisher=(help) - Dr. Alex Benzer (April 2, 2009). "How Rich Guys Screw Up Their Chances with Women". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24.
{{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in:|publisher=(help) - ^ "When you fall for a guy pal: the "just friends" zone is like relationship quicksand, but you can get out with a few strategic maneuvers". Cosmopolitan. 2006-06-01. Retrieved 2008-01-14.
- "Just friends - why it happens?", AskMen.com
- Emily Yahr (July 25, 2010). "The CW's 'Plain Jane,' a not-so-extreme makeover show". Washington Post. Retrieved 2011-02-24.
she harbors a hard-core crush on her buddy Ty, who has categorized her in "the friend zone" since college.
{{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in:|publisher=(help) - "5 Reasons Why Being in the Friend Zone is a Good Thing". manhelper.com. Retrieved 2012-06-30.
- "Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap". TV.com. Retrieved 2008-01-14.
- "IGN's Top 10 Favorite TV Couples". IGN. Retrieved 2008-01-14.
- "Amy Smart on Just Friends", RadioFree.com Interviews (Nov. 5, 2005)
- "FriendZone Casting Site"
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