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Revision as of 08:23, 4 May 2008 by 216.108.204.157 (talk)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)| Solanco High School | |
|---|---|
| Location | |
| Quarryville, Pennsylvania | |
| Information | |
| Type | Public secondary |
| School district | Solanco School District |
| Principal | Gerard Rosolie |
| Grades | 9–12 |
| Enrollment | Average of 1300 |
| Color(s) | Black & Gold |
| Mascot | Golden Mules |
| Website | http://www.solancosd.org/highschool.shtml |
Solanco High School is a secondary school located in Quarryville, Pennsylvania. It is home to approximately 1300 students.
Fitness Difficulties
Mrs. Nolt is a gym teacher there. She is a pompous, elitist bitch with no input of reality. Her job as a fitness teacher demonstrates that Solanco cannot hire employees for their schools adequately, and fails to give worthwhile education to its students in which they seem to value so much. Oh, sorry, she's a Ms. Nolt. Not Mrs. This is probably due to the fact that she is a malformed, disproportional ex-bulimic herpes victim. Her and her best friend Mrs. Sholenfuck (May be a Ms. as well) enjoy acting like 12 year olds in front of their students. This involves dancing like a rich dumbass to overplayed and overproduced songs that play on the radio during a fucking volleyball game, and practicing cheerleading and old dance moves that they used to perform when they were in school. They try to look and act young, but the cover-up they provide fails to deliver any sort of illusion, namely Mrs. Nolt still looks like a 30 or 40-something desperately attempting to look like porn star material, and failing miserably.
Sex Scandal
On March 1st, 2008, Mr. Lane, one of the male fitness teachers, was caught molesting an underage female student in the janitor's closet. The female, 14 years of age, replied to the media stating, "It was actually kind of nice after you get past the fact that he needed to take 5 pills of viagra before he could get up." Mr. Lane, in defense, blamed the Jews.
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