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II. VENUS
III. SUGAR SUGAR Sponge cake Ah, creamy filling You are my sugar high! And you got me wanting goo Crave it Ah, microwave it Twinkies go dynamite! Lovely phallic symbols too
One! Two! Three! IV! NO REPLY They say you're getting round 'Cause you keep sucking down Chocodi-i-i-iles I'll never blame you, though 'Cause under that co-coa They're Twinkies
V. I'LL BE BACK I hear Twinkies last a billion years No expiration date They found Twinkies six miles underground They had to carbon-date
VI. DRIVE MY CAR Asked the buzz what it wanted to eat The buzz said baby, Hostess treats Are bitchin' for munchies - yo dude there's no doubt But something 'bout snack cakes freaks me out: Turn your Twinkie upside-down! See the side that's flat and brown? Three white eyeballs stare you down! Too much like a stoplight...
VII. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET Frinkie That is short for frozen Twinkie Once you've tried one you will know Whoa-oo-wo-oh - Freasure Frozen-pleasure me my dear Kinky smile from ear to ear Try 'em deep-fried too Whew-oo-oo-oo!
VIII. WE CAN WORK IT OUT Out on Easter Island Monolithic icons hail the Twinkie gods of yore Pyramids and Stonehenge Doubtless served as hostess points for UFOs galore Twinkies filled the hold Twinkies, blood, and gold
IX. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER I - met you on eBay - thought I'd won that bid And nabbed the lunchbox of Twinkie the Kid But you did! La-a-ame!
X. NOWHERE MAN He's a real Zingers fan Duped by Dolly Mad-i-san
XI. YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE THAT GIRL You're saturated fat (Force-feed me saturated fat) An understaa-ted fact (Butt loads of sad-you-ate-it fat) My heart is ca-a-a-a-a-aked - with - plaque! (Trans-fatty Twinkie-cake-ed flak!)
XII. STARS ON 45 Three hundred Twinkie cals Keep on burning in your bowels No part of it's refined - but sugar till you're blind But cut off my supply and I will die-hi-hi-hie! Oo-yummy-oo-nummy-oo-in-my-tummy-oo Oo-yummy-oo-numb-me-oo-in-my-tummy-oo
XIII. POSTMORTEM Forgive me, Wallace Stevens; I know Beatle accents And lucid, inescapable rhythms, But here the bawds of euphony Offer no "Blackbird." So can I buy you a Twinkie?