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Revision as of 14:12, 25 September 2006 by 201.19.1.109 (talk)(diff) ← Previous revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)"Slipknot is not as good as buttsecks."
~ Oscar Wilde on Slipknot
"Yes, they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"
~ Oscar Wilde on Slipknot
"Slipknot have so many members! They must be a boy band!"
~ Prat Squad on Slipknot
"In Soviet Russia Slipknot Listens to YOU!"
~ Yakov Smirnoff On Slipknot
"I like the masks. Not the band."
~ Rob Halford On Slipknot
Slipknot is a 7,426 member nu steel band who often wear socks - believed by some to hide their Hobbit like feet - and by others to be the embodiement of Halloween (also known as Easter).
Something
Slipknot first formed in year 1996 when a young boy called Corey decided to team up with his friends at school and form a child play group. Then they hired a clown. And this influenced them to play music
Slipknot's noise, while sounding pleasently harmonic to most, or to some satanic, is actually a metaphor for God and the joy that He spreads to every boy and girl in Jamaica. Because of this, Slipknot has come under fire from animal rights activists and true-fans of nü-metal (Shaved monkeys living on small islands near the center of the earth). Slipknot has often been accused of being "a band" by fans of bands such as Coldplay or Yellowcard. The irony of this is in the iron.
Lineup
The band consists of:
- 333 Drummers
- 666 Guitarists
- 111 Bassists
- 1 Vocalists
- 10,000 pink DJs
- William Grono plays 3 triangles, one for each testical
- 9 Teabags
- 1 Portable Sized Airport to move around the stage easily
- 3700 people who jump around hitting objects/people with 2x4's
- 2525 people who jump around hitting objects/people with 4x4's
- 1350 backups, in the odd chance that one of the band developed talent and needed to be replaced.
- 14 Carrots (all with attitude problems)
- 5 Golden Rings
- 4 Beers
- 3 Supermen
- 2 Dave Ghrols
- King Kong
- Spiderman
- 4 Corey Taylor Clones
- System Of A Down, Korn and Deftones
- A Sloth (Mr R Harrison)
- Chuck Norris
- Samuel L(For Mothafuckin) Jackson
- All of the Blue Peter Pets.
- One Letter 'A'
- And A Partridge in a Pear Tree
Former members
- Gulden God (left after finding out true motives of the band)
- Fred Durst, the bands official redneck, fired when he apparently made a mean joke about Gein's mother.
- Brandon Williams, Ajay Patel's little black bitch.
- Dave Navarro (He changes bands every 2.63 weeks on average)
- Crab People
- Bam Margera, beatbox, left after he realized the band wasn't part of a MTV reality show
- Spongebob Squarepants(beside the fact spongebob is a better singer than them), keyboards, fired after it was discovered he had been in a homosexual relationship with guitarist Tom Cruise.
- That guy from Korn.
- Boy George
- Magical Trevor
- David Hasselhoff
- Dave Mustane Got kicked out one day after accidentally being sober and making actual 'music'
- Callie Morris
- Jherome. playing the tuba.
Something else
Slipknot enjoy long walks on the beach, and romantic candle-lit dinners. Contrary to popular belief they no longer eat the first born of each of their fan's family, but rather just the second born's gallbladder. There is now a rumour circulating on their practises of using needlework to reach a state of enlightenment. They have also been knowen to use their maggots (fanbase) to go fly fishing on the weekends while enjoying a nice spot of tea with Saddam Bush and Blair, they have yet to meet the comedy imitation of this trio more commonly knowen as Tom Dick and Harry. Slipknot's favourite movie is Steel Magnolias.
Famous Songs
Some more well-known songs by Slipknot include "I take it up the chuff", "The Genitalia Song", "Richard eats my dingdong" and "Pingu Version 8" and "Before i Remember" all recieving strong acclaim from Turkish barristers and bald men.
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